What makes one arrogant

Your job is to change that feeling and perception by calmly and politely asking for and providing information or proof. For instance, cheerfully say you'd love to see the evidence of the accomplishment they're claiming. If they boldly assert a view you disagree with, ask if they've considered x, y or z and provide some reference materials.

Mention others who have had success. For instance, you could say, "Wow! That reminds me of Janet from accounting. Did you know she Establish clear boundaries. Arrogant people tend to believe that they don't need to ask permission, or that it's OK to invade others' time and space. Put your foot down on what you will and will not tolerate and they'll quickly learn you're not their doormat. Be honest. All too often, arrogant people get even more arrogant because others agree with their opinions hoping to avoid uncomfortable confrontations.

Be truthful, even if it creates a little tension you have to work through. For instance, if they go off for an hour about the greatness of their painting that looks like toddler scratch, it's OK to say that it doesn't appeal to you personally. Ultimately, your honesty and transparency will show them you're someone to be trusted, not manipulated. Become a friend.

This doesn't mean you have to bake them cookies and laud their every win on LinkedIn. Counseling News , Happiness , Relationships. By Jon Negroni on Sep 26, with 1 Comment. Are you arrogant? Do you find yourself exaggerating your self-image almost instinctively? Tagged With: happiness relationships. Explore the latest mental wellness tips and discussions, delivered straight to your inbox. Email Address. Submit a Comment Cancel reply Your email address will not be published.

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All-time Popular Posts. Download Article Explore this Article Steps. Tips and Warnings. Related Articles. Pay attention to their conversations. Don't eavesdrop, but when they're talking to you or to those around you, listen to them. Is it always about them? Do they get mad or irritated if the center of attention moves to someone else? These are good signs of arrogance.

Arrogance and smugness are often a reflection of limited life experience, and feeling concerned that those with greater life experience "have got something over them. Arrogant people have an extremely strong need to look good. When you make them look bad - even if it is the slightest offense - they will usually be very mad at you. This happens when you question or at least seem to question their appearance, intelligence, athletic abilities, or anything else relating to their self-image.

Challenge their worldview. Don't be aggressive——just skeptical and curious. If they get upset, gauge their anger.

If it's minimal, they may be simply having a bad day. But if they're enraged, then they may see you as questioning their "perfect little world. At some point or another, most people realize that the world doesn't revolve around them. Arrogant people counteract this by creating an atmosphere that revolves around them, and get angry if they're reminded of the real world.

Ambiguity frightens arrogant people because it suggests imperfection, change, and lack of certainty realities we all must contend with as best we can.

As such, instead of accepting that the world behaves randomly and at times totally averse to one's preferences, the arrogant person seeks to control everything and everyone, which of course, is an impossible mission. Reality hurts when it intrudes; as such, an arrogant person is less likely than other people to self-reflect or analyze, thereby not seeing their own imperfections. They may also give themselves undue credit for positive achievements instead of acknowledging the input of others or of circumstances.

Learn the quality of their friendships. Don't be nosy or gossipy, but if they are happy with someone one day and hateful with them the next, that's a sign of them having a lot of fair-weather friends. That's a sign of arrogance since it is very hard to be a truly good friend to someone who's stuck on themselves. Prideful people have a strong need to look good, and being self-sufficient is an effective way to do that.

Since being a good friend to someone usually, means helping them, they often can't stand the thought of a good friendship. Ironically, arrogant people often can't understand why they don't have any reliable and supportive friends.

See how they treat others who are unlike in some ways. In other words, how do they treat those with different beliefs, cultural backgrounds and ways of seeing the world? If it's inherently negative, then they're either over-zealous, ignorant of other people, or what to avoid those that contradict their fantasy land that caters to them and them only.

Determine this based on their general personality and the people they're interacting with. Many times, prideful people have a serious "my-way's-the-only-way" attitude. This is simply a protective mechanism for their false image or their fantasy land. Observe how their personality is like. Take note of how they act, talk, and use their social status. Do they have a general sense of "coolness"?

Are they a chatterbox? Do they act like they own the place, or act like the "big dog"? Are they very keen on their self-image? Many arrogant people have a false charm that no one seems to see through.

But the arrogant person is usually more than happy to show their cruel side to those that they don't like. When they are cruel, their friends will usually ignore it or not do anything to stop it since they're afraid that they'll be treated badly by their "friend.

Mention people you know that they don't like. This isn't meant to begin a conflict, but to gauge their rivalries, annoyances, and enmities. If their condemnation seems to be reasonable, they probably aren't hubristic. If it's harsh, they are. For the most part, arrogant people see people that they don't like as threats to their perfect little world. The more they hate someone, the more dangerous that person is to their fantasy land.

And in turn, the bigger the threat, the harsher the criticism. Ask around to see what they've been saying about you. If they have been saying bad things about you, they may simply not like you. If they're nice to your face, but talk bad about you behind your back like it's their favorite hobby, then they probably have a problem with pride. Arrogant people often subconsciously know that they don't have any good friends.

They compensate for this by creating the "impression" that they have a lot of friends - they have a "quantity, not quality" mentality. Then they simply insult their trophy friends when they aren't looking. Be compassionate. Don't be judgmental of arrogant people or you risk having as negative an outlook as they do. Arrogant people are often trying to hide certain vulnerabilities and fears. Most of the time, the need for a strong and unquestionable self-image comes out of deeply rooted pain.

Obviously, you also don't need to be taken in by their claims to be superior to you. Stay principled and detached. But you can reach out and see the genuine good in them and praise what is real, rather than perceived or forced, talent.

Sometimes, having someone push through the brusqueness can free the arrogant person to be much truer to themselves, allowing them to stop shielding themselves so fiercely.

An enormous amount of vulnerability tends to hide behind arrogance. This leads to overcompensating so that the vulnerability is deeply suppressed. For example, if an arrogant person grew up poor but later becomes rich, he or she may be snobbish about everything they can now afford because they are covering up the fear of poverty from the past My fiance asked me to move in with him and now he always says hurtful things to me. Things like "Don't act like this is your house, you are a guest here.

What do I do? In all honesty, your fiance is a jerk and you don't deserve to be treated like that. In the end, your self-respect matters and regardless of who the hatred comes from, you should care for yourself. If I were you, I would tell him his words are unacceptable. If you don't get an apology, break it off with him. Respect should be the most important aspect of a marriage, so it is not a good sign if he is already exhibiting a lack of it while you are still engaged.

Yes No. Not Helpful 16 Helpful Is it good to be in a relationship with a guy who thinks it is all about him or thinks it is all about looking good?

No, that's not a healthy relationship to be in. Relationships should not be so superficial or so one-sided.